When people hear the word “modesty,” many immediately think about clothing. While clothing is part of it, I have learned through my own testimony that true modesty begins much deeper than outward appearance. It begins in the heart.

My journey into modesty was not simply about changing the way I dressed. It was about Yah healing my identity, restoring my understanding of womanhood, and teaching me how to value the way Elohim created me.

Before Yahusha transformed my life, I struggled deeply with identity confusion. I presented myself in masculinity and crossdressing for years. Looking back at old pictures of myself now, I see someone who hated who she was.

A lot of that pain came from abandonment and wounds I carried from childhood. I believed my biological father did not care about me, and because of that, I struggled to understand my worth as a young girl. I also watched my mother work constantly while carrying fear and exhaustion in relationships. Because of what I experienced growing up, I did not have a healthy understanding of femininity or womanhood.

I remember one interaction as a child where a girl told me, “If you were a boy, then I would like you.” It may have seemed small, but it planted a seed in my heart. Over time, more seeds were planted, and eventually I began embracing a false identity.

As I got older, I started clinging to the masculine image of my stepdad. I coveted the strength and acceptance I saw in men, especially in my stepfather, who was loved and respected by my family. At the time, I did not understand that I was searching for identity in the wrong places. I saw masculinity as protection and thought it would keep me from getting hurt by a man again. But the pain of abandonment continued to linger and I still did not have the attention I desired from my father.

As I entered the world of competitive basketball, masculinity, crossdressing, and homosexuality became normalized in many of the spaces around me. What started as confusion eventually became a lifestyle.

I simply went along with it, not realizing there was spiritual bondage behind what I was embracing. My life spiraled downhill and I ended up in prison with 14+ years on the line. I knew something had to change and so I cried out to Elohim for deliverance.

Later, when I seriously began reading Scripture, I came face to face with Deuteronomy 22:5 and Leviticus 18:22 and the conviction hit me deeply. But for me, this was never just about clothes. Yah began showing me that this was connected to identity, authority, and design.

I learned that the Hebrew wording behind “that which pertains to a man” points beyond fashion and touches areas of role, function, and identity. That understanding opened my eyes to how deeply confused I had become about who Yahuah created me to be.

When Yahusha began delivering me from homosexuality and crossdressing, I honestly thought the transformation would happen instantly. I thought I would simply stop one lifestyle and immediately feel comfortable in another.

But healing took time and a lot of crying out.

I remember trying to wear a dress for the first time after leaving that life, and I felt extremely uncomfortable. It did not feel natural to me at all. I remember praying and telling Yahuah, “I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”

What He showed me was powerful.

Before outward transformation could fully happen, He needed to heal how I saw myself. He needed to untangle years of rejection, insecurity, confusion, and self-hatred. He needed to teach me how to love being a woman and understand what womanhood actually is.

That process changed everything and slowly I began to embrace who I was made to be, a woman.

As Yahuah healed my heart, my desires slowly began to change too. I started becoming more secure in my purpose as a woman, as a wife, and as a mother. Instead of resisting femininity, I began embracing it.

One experience that really stood out to me happened while preparing for a basketball tournament. I needed athletic clothing, and out of habit I immediately walked into the men’s section to look for basketball shorts.

But this time I felt convicted.

I prayed and asked Yahuah to help me find something in the women’s section that was comfortable, functional, modest, and feminine. When I went over there, He provided exactly what I needed.

That moment may seem simple, but it meant a lot to me because Yahuah showed me I did not have to sacrifice femininity in order to function, move comfortably, or be athletic.

For so long, I believed strength and femininity could not coexist. But Yahuah showed me otherwise.

Through this journey, Yahuah taught me that true modesty is not just about what you wear. Modesty is humility, wisdom, gentleness. It is submission to the design of Elohim and trusting His order over our own emotion and understanding.

True modesty flows from the posture of the heart.

When your heart begins healing, the outward presentation naturally changes. The way you speak changes. The way you carry yourself changes. The way you dress becomes an extension of who you have become within.

That is exactly what happened to me.

Now, when I put on a dress, I feel beautiful. I feel comfortable and to this day I am learning to love myself just the way I am. Awesomely and wonderfully made! Not because of the dress itself, but because Yahuah and His Son Yahusha healed the identity issues underneath it and gave me clarity.

Healing made modesty natural instead of forced.

Another major part of my healing came after being delivered from a cult that intensified many of my insecurities. During that time, I struggled with seeking validation, especially from people around me. I questioned my value as a wife, mother, and woman.

Yahuah allowed my family to go to a cult to expose what was still lingering due to not connecting and remembering all Yahuah had already brought me out of.

I had to address the lie of a seed that was rooted in hatred toward myself and men. That I could be a man. I came out of agreement with that lie and believed the truth. “Male and female He made them.” and Yahusha restored clarity, gave me forgiveness, and set me free from the bondage I was once in.

Yahuah showed me that my worth is not rooted in attention, approval, performance, or human affirmation. My worth is rooted in His Son Yahusha.

That revelation changed how I viewed modesty completely.

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Watch the documentary — From Homosexuality to Yahusha: The BritYah Story

Yahusha taught me that modesty is connected to loving others.

As women, how we carry ourselves impacts the people around us, especially our children. As a mother of two sons, I understand that I am their first example of womanhood. The way I present myself teaches them what dignity, femininity, and respect look like.

That responsibility humbled me deeply.

Modesty is about honoring Elohim, valuing ourselves, and considering others with wisdom and love.

Today, I share my testimony openly because I know there are women struggling with the same confusion, pain, insecurity, and identity battles that I once faced.

I now host 2nd Chance Support Group, a women’s support group for ex-LGBTQ and more, coming to or struggling with identity, purpose, or fulfillment in their womanhood.